3 is a beautiful number...

I follow some other blogs and some of the families are now in China being united with their little girls. I have been keeping up with their day to day happenings and tears in my eyes every time I read their blog updates. All of the emotions that they are going through are so overwhelming. I keep thinking how I need to start really preparing myself for those emotions. But I'm not sure if you really can "prepare" for them, I think you really do have to go through them.

I keep wondering how we will handle things, and how 2 brand new parents will do in China for 2 weeks all by themselves. All of the other things to consider to like the language barrier, the totally new surroundings, the not having family right there to ask questions to, the dealing with attachment issues, there are so many that I can't list them all. But I assume that these are all things a new Mom and Dad think about when having their own baby. I'm sure they go through times of panic, and self-doubt, and then realize that everyone has to go through this, and everyone makes mistakes and it's all part of the learning process.

I keep wondering how old Avery will be. Will they give us a young baby because she's our first one. Or will they give us an older baby because she's our first one. I have had a lot of thoughts about her age lately. It doesn't matter to me or Gary really, but I do still wonder.

I have just gone back to work this week and keep watching my younger ballerinas and think a lot about Avery. I can't wait to hold her little hand in mine...have her follow us around, and give us those little tilted head looks and smile. My little ballerinas give me this look all the time and my heart just melts.

I know the Mom thing kicks in, I have it kick in all the time in my line of work. When someone is having a bad day, or needs a hug, or needs to talk, or someone gets hurt, I always know what to do, and I'm always calm about it, and happy to have the "Mom" in me kick right in no questions asked, and I don't have to think about it.

I always have Avery on my mind. But lately she is really at the forefront. I am always thinking about how I will handle this or that. Especially how I will handle things when we are in China. Gary and I will really need to depend on eachother for confidence, and making the transition for her as easy as it can be. Patience is a word that comes to mind...and lots of it!!!

But in the end these really aren't worries, they are welcome thoughts, and ones that really I have had for a long, long, time. I think knowing that we are on the down side of the waiting has really made me feel like this is finally more real than it was before.

All the doubts, and worries, and thoughts don't matter because we will have a daughter, and become a family of 3.

3...what a beautiful number!

Thanks for listening, comments are welcomed!!
~Alli :)