So, this is going to be my rant about the subject of caring. Caring for people, for students, for your loved ones, your family, and friends, your job, and anything else you seem to love in your life. I have always been the teacher who cares about her students...probably more than I should. My students confide in me, and yes, I do tell them the truth sometimes, even when the truth hurts. But, I was brought up to be that way. I think that sometimes the people we care about need to hear the truth. It stings, and it hurts but it is all for the good. I know a lot of people who speak their mind, and say what ever they want all the time. I used to think these people were rude, and totally people I never wanted to be around. But today I think I might become one of them.
I am so sick of people using me as someone to take their problems out on. Excuse me for caring too much, excuse me for having a job I love, excuse me for finding the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Excuse me for thinking it's a good idea to go to college for your profession, excuse me for wanting to bring the best out in my students, excuse me for demanding loyalty, excuse me for expecting people to be courteous, and kind. Excuse me for thinking everyone has a good heart...some just deeper than others, excuse me for not being able to have children of my own, excuse me that the adoption is taking longer than everyone else thought. Excuse me for not being able to go to baby showers...I always send good wishes and a fabulous gift though. Excuse me for being successful, excuse me for working hard, excuse me for being busy all the time, excuse me for actually lately taking time for myself, and Gary. Excuse me for not wanting to compete with others in my business, excuse me trying to raise above, excuse me for teaching 29 + classes per week. Excuse me for being who I am...I have never tried to be anyone but me.
Well...excuse me, I don't apologize for any of it!!!!!!! Why do we ever care what other people think of us...it's a waste of time and effort...I'm done. Maybe I'll be one of those teachers now who doesn't care about her students anymore, or what people think about what she says, throw all caution to the wind...we'll see.
Our life is hard, we are going through an adoption, an adoption that is going into it's 21st month. We have taken care of everyone else's children for 19+ years. I have been the shoulder to cry on for those past 19+ years, and so has Gary. I think it's time to be selfish, and do what is best for us.
There's my rant for the day...
~Alli
4 comments:
You shouldn't apologize for any of it and you should take care of, and time for, yourself!!! :)
Alli~
You care because that is how you were brought up. Aunt Margaret is one of the most special people in my life. Adoption is difficult especially non-domestic. They take a lot longer to conclude, and have the end result~your precious little Avery. Many family and friends already love her to pieces.
You are right you do send fabulous gifts to the showers that I have gone to-amazing actually.
Please know that your family is mad and frustrated that you and Gary have to endure this long wait. You are two good people, and don't deserve to wait this long~most importantly though Avery doesn't deserve to wait this long either.
Always know that you are in our prayers, thoughts, and heart.
Here's to some speediness on China's end.
Lots of love,
Heather
I love you Mama Bear...be who you are, because you are a great person and nobody can deny that, and if they do...well, you know what I'd say. You and Gary mean the world to me and you deserve to have what you want in life.
Thanks everyone...just a bad day, and a bad friend, feeling better now.
Thanks for the comments, and wishes, and ecouragement.
Love to all!!
~Alli
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