The CCAA news...

The latest from the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). They have finished reviewing dossiers that were logged in before April 30, 2007. So we are caught up mostly. We were ahead a little but now it seems we're right on time, must be there were a lot of dossiers in March and April. But I guess that's better than being behind a month or two.

Our friends the Bertrams Ethiopian adoption goes up for court today, we are all praying they get their approval, and that means they will be able travel to get their son Lucas very soon. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.

Have heard a little about this swine flu epidemic, and that anyone with a referral or travel arrangements may be postponed for 20 days to travel to China. Feel very sad for those families. This is no official word, just rumors through the blogs. It doesn't affect us though and they should keep reviewing and matching families while they wait.

The latest families that got their children from our adoption agency waited 34 months from their LID. We should be in the review room by June-July that will be 24 months, and then we countdown from there. That actually makes me very happy. May and June should fly for us, we have a Recital, and pictures for the studio in there, and we should be able to keep busy so the next 2 months don't seem so long. Then we will start counting down from 12. That will give us about 2 months fluff in there, and that's me being optimistic, but truly, Gary and I need to see smaller numbers ahead of us. Wish us luck and we wish Christa and Benji (the Bertrams), and their family a lot of luck today!!!

Ladybugs all around!!!!!

Love to everyone,

~Alli

What a dance family we have...

So the show is finally over...thank God!! It was the week from hell for me & Gary. I ended up having the stomach flu from Wednesday through Friday last week. On Wednesday my back seized up a little and I felt really achey, but thought I was coming down with a cold, went to dress rehearsal in sweats and slippers, felt really crappy but we had to get the rehearsal done. Thursday didn't feel any better, stomach hurt, and was so growly and loud that it was embarrassing. Ended up again in sweats and slippers at rehearsal and stayed away from the kids, and was really sick by 7:30, and couldn't wait for rehearsal to be over with. Thursday night and all day Friday (Friday was the day of the show), I was totally sick to my stomach, and in the bathroom every 10 minutes, and felt like hell, and looked even worse. Ended up not knowing if I would make it to the show Friday night or not, but went back to bed and drank gallons of powerade and by 3:00 I wasn't in the bathroom that much. I still felt gross, but well enough to go and do the show. We had tons of parents offering to help, and my kids were the same way, it feels good that people want to help and offer.

After the show, we always go to Applebees with our kids, and some of the kids who have graduated, and some parents, and we just talk and laugh and reminisce. I went, I only had ice water, and didn't eat anything, and really wanted to see my kids, and visit. There was about 25 of us all there...what a site. We had some of our kids from 4 years ago there, and from 2 and 3 years ago, and ones that graduated last year, and our senior this year, and some of our other dancers from this year, it was great!! I enjoyed talking to them all, and miss them all tremendously. But as I sat there and looked around while sitting at the table I thought to myself, "What a family Gary & I have acquired over the years, these ARE our kids, we consider them OUR kids, and they are a great bunch of individuals!" WE sat there for about 2 hours and talked and laughed, and just had a good time. That's exactly what I needed. They call us, Mama & Papa Bear, and we feel like we are to them, and they are all our cubs. I have been teaching for over 19 years, and we still keep in touch with a lot of our kids, what a family that ends up being, a huge number of dancers that have been our kids over the years.

So as we wait for OUR daughter, and I feel sometimes like I will never be Mom, I need to stop and think that on some level Gary and I have been parents to our kids over the years. We have always been more than just a dance teacher, and friend, we counsel, we listen, and we care, and we love all our kids. We tell them when they need to straighten up, and we tell them when they've screwed up, and told them how proud of them we are when they do good. So in the end we have been a "Mom" and a "Dad", to some capacity. We're just waiting to be one all the time.

...and waiting for the sound of tiny feet doing chassés around the house, and a little voice that wants only us to twirl her around. Those days are the days we look forward to now. But we'll keep our dance family, and keep it growing, and our daughter will have so many sisters, and brothers. They are all so excited to meet her now, they can't wait!! And neither can we!!

Love to all,
~Alli

And the busy week begins...

We are in the week of our dress rehearsal for our big Spring show. This show has 25 pieces, it's really 28 because one piece is 8 minutes long and has 4 songs tied to it. Most of the show is our Senior Company, and there are 19 of them. Then we have our Junior Company, and there are 12 of them and we have 2 guys. They are a great group of kids. We will be in rehearsals in Watertown this week, and our show is in Friday.

We've been so busy lately and so self-involved, I don't really think self involved is correct, company-involved is more like it, that I can't wait for the days we have Avery and our lives are consumed by something else. How different our lives will be and how different our time, and what's important to us and the unwillingness to give it up will be.

Our little girl has already stolen our hearts, and she is just a thought right now, a dream. To us, she is every little Asian girl we see, every black haired, brown eyed beauty, and long for the days we will have her really here with us...a family finally. Then the days of working every Friday, and Saturday, and some Sundays will be gone...I long for those days.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, I just feel like I've been working that way forever. Well, at least 1/2 of my life now. We seem to throw 200% of ourselves into our work constantly, because there is nothing else their to give it to.

We need a change, someone to ground us, someone to make us feel like we are a family. Someone that needs us, and depends on us, someone to change us. She is coming...someday.

Her name will be Avery Lin Newton, and we anxiously await her arrival!!

Someday...

Love to all this week!!
~Alli

In June I am going to start to count down...

Once in the review room, I am going to start to count down from a year. I can monitor the progress the CCAA makes every month, and I may have to adjust the countdown as we go but I think it will make me feel better to see a smaller number.

Hope so!!
~Alli

CCAA no new news...

The CCAA has just said they finished reviewing dossiers logged in before March 31, 2007. So we are still waiting to hear if they are into April or not. It seems maybe March was a big month of dossiers or something? It would seem they would be onto April...who knows??

That's all we know right now.

~Alli

First attempt in Avery's room today...

Okay, so I had big ideas today, and then I got in the room. We pretty much have things sorted, and the stuff that is left in her room right now is bigger stuff. So now I have to get into the other room upstairs and try to clean that one out so I can move things around, and also move a bookcase, and 3 dressers. But I'm hoping to strip a little wallpaper this week, so I feel like I've made some progress this week up there.

When we get it all separated and empty I will take a before picture, and post it. Her closet is full, and I mean full, of clothes, and stuff for her room. I will need to get some storage totes to put all of the hanging things in so nothing happens to that stuff when we get started on painting and etc.

So a little progress today...hopefully a lot more coming!!

Love,
~Alli

Thank you Easter Bunny....

We had a very nice day with family yesterday. We went to Ron & Judy's for lunch/dinner. A big thank you to them for such a great dinner! Grandma & Grandpa Newton, Aunt Nancy and Uncle Tom, Pat , Chris, and Steve & Beth and the boys were there.

Would like to say thank you to Steve & Beth and the boys for the ladybug mouse pad, and Aunt Nancy & Uncle Tom for the ladybug pull toy. Made our day-thank you very much.

It was a nice day with family yesterday. We went down to my parents later in the afternoon and spent time with them and Johnny. We had some of Mom's oh so good lemon meringue pie. Grandma's famous Easter cake was good yesterday too!

A big thank you to my Mom & Dad for Avery's ladybug dress-so cute, she'll look great in it!!

All in all a really nice day and really nice beginning to my vacation!!

Hope all your Easter's were great!!

Love to all,
~Alli

Easter in China...

I couldn't find much online about Easter in China, if they celebrate it or not, but here are some fun facts I did find...

The Chinese believed in the sacredness of eggs and gave them as gifts during joyful celebrations.

Eggs have been a symbol of spring and fertility in China.

At least 3000 years ago the Chinese painted eggs red for spring festivals.

Historic documentation tells us that in 722 B.C. a Chinese Chieftain gave painted eggs as gifts in celebration of a spring festival.

So take from it what you will.

We can't wait to celebrate with Avery someday!

Happy Easter to everyone!

Love,
Alli & Gary

No change...

The CCAA still hasn't changed their status of what referrals and reviews they are on for dossiers. Either they just haven't updated it, or they haven't begun on April yet. Hoping maybe next week that they will change their status. We aren't due in the review room yet, but any update is at least an update.

On our blog list on the side, one of the couples who have been waiting for 3 years finally got their call this last week...their referral. They are just a couple we don't know them, we follow their blog. I haven't been brave enough to make contact with them. I have done that before and gotten no response back from people and so I haven't decided if I will put myself out there again or not. I watched the video of them getting their call, and it made me cry, bad idea, good idea, I don't know. Was so happy for them, and it brought up all those feelings again...but it's good.

Can't wait until we get our "call".

Heck, just get us in the review room and we're gonna celebrate!!! So you are all forewarned!!!

Love to everyone!
~Alli

Time off coming up...

Being that we have Spring Break next week, and our first big show is the week after that, I will officially have 2 weeks away from the studio-YAY!!! The first week is vacation, and the second week is dress rehearsals and show, but still, it's 2 weeks out of the studio, and a little bit more stress free. We are hoping to get into Avery's room a little bit over vacation, it's vacation for me but not Gary, so, I'm hoping to get into her room and get something done. I have things to do for our show, but I am also going to do some things just for me over this break that have nothing to do with dance.

This was a hard week. I am so tired this week, and Gary says the same thing. I think the snow is the culprit, it just depressed everyone, and put people in a bad mood all around. But it's supposed to be nice the next few days. I hope so, need some warmer temperatures, and sunshine to help with the gloomy attitude.

We are staying home this year for Easter, we went to Indiana last year, so we don't go this year. My parents aren't going either it's just too short of a trip. We'll be at Ron & Judy's for Easter dinner then my parents later on in the day. Not really into the Easter buying this year, so we've cut way way way back on that this year...adoption to save and pay for.

I've been hearing about other people getting their referrals, they are people with LID's from March 2006, but it's still encouraging to know this really does happen eventually. The CCAA should be into April, but when I checked the other day they hadn't changed their status. I predict we won't get into the review room until the earliest-June. Then I also predict we won't travel until next Summer. I don't wanna get my hopes up any farther than that. When I think of another year of waiting, it makes me nuts. But in reality what's 12 months, we've already done 21. Everyone says, "It will be so worth the wait". We appreciate the support, but that comment, irks me to no end now. We know it will be worth the wait, that's why we decided to do it.

I think this feels like a prison sentence sometimes, a punishment for something we've done in a previous life. "Yes, you can have a daughter, but... you will have to wait this long, possibly longer, to make up for whatever you've done, you must appease the children Gods who are in charge of your parental fate". Okay...yes a bit over the top but really that's what it feels like. I know everything happens for a reason, but why the wait? I'm 35, Gary is 38, let's get on with it!! We always wanted children, but now that we're ready and normal ways never worked, we wait...and wait...and wait... and eternally wait.

Breathe...I just tell myself to breathe and look to the future. Sometimes I can't see it as clearly, but I know that someday it will be there.

That must be why I put the song, "Someday" in our show this year-probably. The wait always finds it's way into my work. We also have the song, "In my Arms" in the show this year. That song is also about a parent and their child. Our life spills into my work and choreography. We also have a song called, "Slow me Down", which is my life in a nutshell. The entire show is called "Dancing through Life", that just says it all doesn't it. If you get a chance come and see our show on April 24th, promises to be phenomenal! Well there's a plug for ya!!

Have a Happy Easter & Restful Spring Break if you can!!!

Think of us every 3rd of the month as we trek through this unfathomable wait. Leave a comment or just a hello is always appreciated!

Love to everyone!!!
~Alli

I have showed great restraint so far...

Okay so Gymboree, one of my most favorite kids stores, has yet again another line of ladybug clothes this Spring. They are so cute!!! Ladybug shirts, pants, tutus, sandals, capris, sun dresses, socks, hats, jumpers...oh my golly!!!!!! But, I have not bought any of it...yet, in fact haven't really gotten anything for Avery in awhile, don't know what to think about that. But it is showing great restraint on my part. But I do see a ladybug shirt in her future from here, that I know she'll wear.

Do you have a lot of ladybugs in your house lately. We do, love to see them all the time!

~Alli

21 months...

Okay so today is the 3rd again. We are at 21 months. Been having that heartache moment a little off and on this last month. Just really when I'm by myself, and not really thinking about anything, it just drops in for a little while, and then I'm off doing other things and it goes away again. I just want to get into the review room, get us there and then we will see the light at the end, a little brighter.

I'm so tired lately, trying to get the Companies at the studio ready for their show. Also, trying to plug through the Recital dances in all 29 classes, to get them far enough before April Break. Not sleeping well, again, up every morning between 2:30-4:00AM. Just restless lately I think, my head is too full of everything. Gary is feeling better he had a nasty cold last week, and is finally on the mend from that. I think I just need vacation...some days to do whatever, hopefully the weather will be nice and I can get some fresh air, and a fresh perspective.

Happy Easter to all, and Happy Spring!!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I have a feeling the next couple months will be tough on us. So leave as many comments as possible, we will need them.

Love to all,
~Alli