I think as time goes by for this adoption, I keep thinking of what I want our life to be, my life specifically. Some things that were once at the fore front of my mind aren't there anymore. Some things that used to bother me, or I would just put up with either don't bother me anymore, or I just don't put up with and totally confront the situation, or person now. That's not like me at all. I am the one that keeps her mouth shut, and doesn't want to rock the boat. But lately I'm rockin' the boat. I do not stand for disrespect in my life...I expect so much more from people who are going to be a part of my life, whether personal, or business. I am not always going to do what's best for the group anymore, I am going to start doing what's best for me, us. I have already started.
I feel as if I do so much for everyone else that I put myself on the back burner. But lately I have making the time for me. Things that I need to do for myself, or for Gary and myself come first and foremost. We are making us a priority for once. And it feels pretty good. I do not give up my workouts anymore to do choreography and work related stuff, that stuff comes after now. BY doing that I have lost 18 pounds. I have turned down some opportunities for dance, because I know I have enough to do with what I already have. I know some people don't think my job is as busy as I make it out to be, and it's only dancing, but let me tell ya if you saw my to do list for the next couple weeks you'd be shocked (has over 70 things on it). I now take Sundays and do nothing related to dance. I cook more, and I am the ultimate Weight Watchers cook, I have tried over 20 of their recipes, and just ask Gary they are all really good, and he keeps asking me to cook things all the time. I find cooking very relaxing. I have never enjoyed reading that much, but this year I have read 4 books that were over 500 pages a piece and have 5 others started.
I am starting to feel like a little enjoyment is a good thing. I still am way overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I need to do, but know enough to take the time I need for me. Whether that means missing some family thing, or friend thing. Because quite honestly there are times I just want quiet in my life. I listen to 160 kids a week, and teach 29 classes every week. I think after that quiet is good, just Gary and myself.
So, this will lead into us making the time we need for our own family. My job will have to change a lot, and I am so ready for that change. Kids are different these days, and some are so very unthankful, and very disrespectful, I feel sorry for school teachers these days. Not all kids are, don't get me wrong, but I have met some real doozies this year...ungrateful!!
I have done the years in my profession where I had Companies that consisted of 75-80 girls, and put that many girls in a dance, and yes, it as helped me be the super organized person I am, and has molded me into the teacher I am, and I am grateful because of it. But these days I want people that have the same passion that I do about life, and about dance, and about family, and people who are understanding about the adoption, and ask questions, and who are excited for us, and want to go baby shopping, and come over for dinner and talk, and listen to me and Gary when we are frustrated, and not tell us, "it will be worth the wait", but say, "man, this wait is horrible, and it sucks!". Those are the kind of people I want to surround myself with. I think for the most part we have those people, but we need more of those people in our life.-Any Takers?!
So, there's my rant for the week. It's been a very stressful week, with parents and kids this week. This is my busiest time of year from now until June. But I am psyched that I've lost 18 pounds-YAY!!!
I want to lose about 30-40 total...we'll see!!
Have a great weekend...maybe the weather will get warmer finally and stay warmer. I can't wait to breathe in that great Spring warm air.
Love to all,
~Alli
