Thoughts...

So lately the time frame of the waiting has really been setting in. As many times as we hear people say, "It'll be worth the wait", or "it'll go fast", it really doesn't make it any easier. We appreciate the kind words and believe us we know that she will be worth the wait...but that doesn't mean that the waiting isn't hard. Sometimes you feel like people don't want to discuss the adoption because it is so far away. But, what they don't know is that it is far away for them but it's on our minds everyday.

I believe people should start a family when they feel they are ready. For Gary and myself that time is now. It may not be when other people thought it should be, or that we were never serious about having children. I think Gary & I knew that when the time came for us to start a family we wouldn't do it the traditional way. Even in all those years of trying to conceive the traditional way, adoption was never out of the question. With the number of children I have taught over the years and the number of those kids Gary has had an impact on also, it seems fitting that we are going to adopt and save a life of a child in need.

I always wonder about that connection a Mother has to her child when you carry them for 9 months, will that have an impact on us. What about the love I feel for a child that I haven't met yet...I've met her in my mind. What about the 18+ months it will take to get to her, that must be the same as carrying her on some level. As a woman who is in her 30's you do not feel as competent when surrounded by other family members or people that have children. You are treated differently all the time, as if you were still in your 20's and haven't experienced life yet. That is so untrue, I think that when you are faced with disappointments, and hardships, and successes, that also makes you competent at life.

I can't wait to be a Mom, and I know Gary can't wait to be a Dad. So what's wrong with starting later than other people...nothing. It doesn't mean we aren't serious about a family. And just because Avery is still 12+ months away from us doesn't mean we shouldn't start the nursery, or buy her things, and pick out a crib set and be able to enjoy this wait...this long wait. Even though we can't see her yet doesn't mean she's not around us on some level, we get signs all the time. Even though the signs may not mean anything to anyone else doesn't mean they are to be dismissed, it just means they are meant for us and no one else.

So there are my thoughts as of late. I can't vent to anyone but Gary about all of this, so I'm going to start writing my thoughts here, hoping to encourage more people to leave comments and thoughts. We need the support some days, or even just a hello.

Have a good day!!!

~Alli