AGH!!!!!!!!!!!

So we've heard a lot of disturbing news in the last week. It is looking as if the wait is going to be a lot longer. We've heard many rumors on why but you don't know who to believe. I've tried to do some research on the web but again it's all speculation.

What I keep reading is since they changed the rules for adopting from China last May, they are trying to get caught up on the back log of the dossiers. Now, whether this means they now have to go through and make sure again that everybody meets the required regulations-I don't know.

Another reason I kept coming across was that China has required the orphanages to do more paperwork on the orphans and there is not enough staff to help. So not as many of the orphans are becoming available because again, there is not enough help to file and fill out the paperwork. Again-you don't know if this true.

I am so frustrated right now, totally feeling as if I've been shot in the heart. When we started this process the wait was not really long, long but acceptable. Now, it is extremely long. I'm starting to understand the looks on those families faces that we see all the time at the adoption functions. The sadness and feeling of no control, and despair.

I keep trying to tell myself we are only 7 months in and it could speed up in our wait time-maybe, hopefully.

I know our daughter will be worth the wait, she will be there waiting for us. I know this but it so doesn't help lately.

~Alli

Our 1st Chinese New Year Party

We went to our first Chinese New Year party yesterday held by our adoption agency, New Life. Everyone that has adopted from China was invited and brought their children, and there were some of the waiting families there too (that's us). What a day!

As we arrived and walked through the door there were little Asian girls and a couple Asian boys everywhere. Every time we go to one of these events I get completely choked up for about the first 10 minutes. I think I just get so overwhelmed and the want for Avery is so right there in my face, that I really can't hardly talk for the first 10 minutes and am on the verge of tears. It takes me a few minutes to fight them back and compose myself. There were children of ll ages, from 10 months old to it looked like 10 years old. They were giving out little Asian purses at the door in the shape of little Asian kimono shirts, we'll put it in Avery's room. All of the staff at our adoption agency are so nice and friendly. They welcome you with hugs and they really are just sweet people and I appreciate that, and I know Gary does also.

As we walked into the banquet room, Vicki our agent (our person) was at the door. She is very nice and has a very warm personality. She told us that they put all the waiting families together at a table so we could meet each other. There were children every where running around, there was a dj there also playing music so the kids could dance, and most of them had there little Asian outfits on-SO CUTE!!

We found our table and immediately met another waiting couple from Syracuse. She was originally from Texas and he was originally from North Carolina. She is the regional manager for all of the Wal*Marts around where we live. They were very nice, just into the process though-8 weeks in. But they are doing special needs. The little girl they are hoping to adopt is 2 years old and has congenital heart disease. They don't have their dossier done yet but sent a letter of intent about the 2 year old and are waiting for word from that. They don't think they will travel until August or after. There were 2 other waiting families at the table, they have been waiting 13 months (they looked very unhappy and distraught). Again, nobody from our group was there-disappointing. They say it's hard for the waiting families to go to such events because it makes it harder. I agree but we feel we would like to get as involved as possible with the events at the agency and even though yes it is tough, it also gives you a glimpse into your future. I also like to hear the stories from the families who just came back. They are always willing to answer questions, and are always so supportive and helpful.

There were 3-4 families that traveled to get their daughters just 2 months ago. They were all so cute and you could see the relief on the parents faces as they held there children. One of the fathers did come over to offer support and introduced his wife and their daughter Emma. She is 13 months old, very small, very content, and had hardly any hair but so adorable in her panda shirt. They sat right down and told us all about their trip, the plane ride, the hotels, the food, New Life's liaison person- Frank in China (the guy that helps all the families with their paper work and just about everything else while in China), the bathrooms, what to take, what not to take. When they arrived at their hotel in China they were there about 30 minutes and Frank called to their room and said we're going to bring up luggage, food, and the babies right now. So, 30 minutes after they arrived in China they had Emma. That shocked me-WOW- really instant parents. He was very helpful and let us ask questions, and he talked to us for probably 30 minutes or more.

It was a lot of fun, a little depressing, but a little bit of hope of what's to come came with it. I am so glad we went. I enjoyed watching all of the children dance-of course.

We also saw the couple we met at the get together in October. They were there with there daughter Catherine. The Mom remembered us and we gave her our email address so maybe we can start to keep in touch with some of the other families we meet at these events. She is a riot, very down to earth and funny, very helpful, they are going for their second child, their dossier is already in China they are just waiting on their second referral. It was very nice to see them again.

We talked with a bunch of the staff from New LIfe, and as always they offer such support and kind words-much appreciated!!

After the party we went and looked at cribs and strollers, car seats, bassinets, swings, and everything baby.

So, Happy Chinese New Year-it is the year of the rat. We are almost officially 7 months into our wait. Can't wait for double digits!!!

Send more squares if you want. We have some we need to still post-hopefully soon!!

I am looking at patterns for the quilt and going to start her life book. Next on the house remodeling schedule is the nursery -YEA!!

Love to all!!

~Alli & Gary

Our last Christmas...

We had our last Christmas with Gary's family over the weekend. Aunt Nancy, Uncle Tom, Jeremy & Amanda, and Grandma & Grandpa Newton, Steve, Beth & the boys and Gary & myself were there. We had to wait until January because some of the family were away around Christmas.

Another lady bug showed up while we were eating dinner(Avery was there). We had a good time and received such nice gifts for Avery. Grandma Newton had sewn her a little white and pink kimono jacket, and she also made her a hooded towel, all gorgeous. Grandpa Newton had picked out some lady bug slippers for Avery, he couldn't wait for us to open them. They are very cute.

Aunt nancy & Uncle Tom got her the book, "Love you like Crazy Cakes", a very touching story about adoption. Aunt Nancy wrote on the inside cover and I can't wait to read it to Avery.

We love all the gifts, they are great!!!

I'm going to cut this short because it is storming and lightning-YIKES!!!

Love to all,
~Alli

Thoughts...

So lately the time frame of the waiting has really been setting in. As many times as we hear people say, "It'll be worth the wait", or "it'll go fast", it really doesn't make it any easier. We appreciate the kind words and believe us we know that she will be worth the wait...but that doesn't mean that the waiting isn't hard. Sometimes you feel like people don't want to discuss the adoption because it is so far away. But, what they don't know is that it is far away for them but it's on our minds everyday.

I believe people should start a family when they feel they are ready. For Gary and myself that time is now. It may not be when other people thought it should be, or that we were never serious about having children. I think Gary & I knew that when the time came for us to start a family we wouldn't do it the traditional way. Even in all those years of trying to conceive the traditional way, adoption was never out of the question. With the number of children I have taught over the years and the number of those kids Gary has had an impact on also, it seems fitting that we are going to adopt and save a life of a child in need.

I always wonder about that connection a Mother has to her child when you carry them for 9 months, will that have an impact on us. What about the love I feel for a child that I haven't met yet...I've met her in my mind. What about the 18+ months it will take to get to her, that must be the same as carrying her on some level. As a woman who is in her 30's you do not feel as competent when surrounded by other family members or people that have children. You are treated differently all the time, as if you were still in your 20's and haven't experienced life yet. That is so untrue, I think that when you are faced with disappointments, and hardships, and successes, that also makes you competent at life.

I can't wait to be a Mom, and I know Gary can't wait to be a Dad. So what's wrong with starting later than other people...nothing. It doesn't mean we aren't serious about a family. And just because Avery is still 12+ months away from us doesn't mean we shouldn't start the nursery, or buy her things, and pick out a crib set and be able to enjoy this wait...this long wait. Even though we can't see her yet doesn't mean she's not around us on some level, we get signs all the time. Even though the signs may not mean anything to anyone else doesn't mean they are to be dismissed, it just means they are meant for us and no one else.

So there are my thoughts as of late. I can't vent to anyone but Gary about all of this, so I'm going to start writing my thoughts here, hoping to encourage more people to leave comments and thoughts. We need the support some days, or even just a hello.

Have a good day!!!

~Alli

Happy 6 month wait to us...

The 3rd of January was our official date of 6 months of waiting. In February we will be in this a year from the start of all the paperwork. It takes a LONG TIME...trying to look further ahead to keep my sanity.

We are getting a lot of invites to Chinese New Year get-togethers...exciting!!! Some are local, one is from our adoption agency and there is a BIG celebration at one of the high schools in Syracuse...should be FUN!!!

We have kept all of Avery's gifts out, I don't want to put them away just yet. I like to go through them every once in awhile.

We have been doing some remodeling. Started with the kitchen, it has a new floor, and painting, and wainscoting on the walls, new lighting and we're going to put new doors in the kitchen also. Plus trimming out the beams and all of the rest of the trim...and eventually re-staining the cupboards. It looks like a totally different place. Gary & Ron did a fantastic job on the floor. Gary did all the wainscoting himself and it looks really good. The color of the wainscoting is called chianti, and the upper part of the walls is a cottage white. Next I think is Avery's room. We also have plans for the upstairs bathroom, flooring in our bedroom, flooring and painting in the downstairs bathroom, painting and tile in the breezeway, and painting in one the living rooms too. Big list!!

We have found our crib set, pottery barn kids jut came out with a set that has little lady bugs on it, and it is green and white and they have mixed pink in with it also-PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!

Just got a bunch of scrapbooking materials in the mail to start Avery's lifebook-really excited about that!!!!

I guess that's all for now, can't wait until our wait time gets in the double digits!!!

Love to you all!!!
~Alli