So...almost 15 months in and 16 more to go.

So if you didn't know, we are 15 months in on Friday and have about 16 more months to go. Another year plus...I think I'm past denial now and onto acceptance. Acceptance that I'm going to be 37 by the time we get Avery and then what do we do. We would like 2 children, but it may only be that we have one. But be grateful for one, one little girl, one little ballerina of our own, one little ladybug. It's just depressing. Another set of birthdays, another Mother's Day, another Father's Day, another Christmas or 2. Another family vacation without us being a family of more than 2. I used to think I wouldn't be one of those bitter, and depressed looking individuals waiting for their daughter to arrive. But, I see it a little, not much but a little. It should be better when my schedule starts to pick up for Company, nothing like throwing yourself into your work...it's what I've done for the past 20 years.

We have a function at New Life Adoption Agency (our agency) with other waiting families in October, looking forward to that. We are going to NYC in a week, really looking forward to that, needing some time with Gary lately.

We did take out the old rug in Avery's room, and pulled off all the trim, and everything, So, it's really just a empty room. There's stuff in it, but not much. We are still going to get some other stuff done before we start her room. I'm mixed lately on starting her room. I would love to be able to sit in there and write things to her before she arrives. I've tried a journal, but can't do it on a regular basis. I think if there is a place I can go where I can feel closer to her maybe it will come easier. But on the other hand I wonder if it will just upset me. I think both. But I think that comes with the territory.

On another note. Our fingerprints have expired. Which we figured they would. So, we have to get an extention to get them re-done. We won't have to pay this time but the next time we will...because this will probably happen again. Also, one of our documents is also going to expire. So we will have to have some stuff updated like the homestudy etc. We just got the China Adminstrations Fee paid for...onto the next set of paperwork etc. and the re-doing of some too. We knew this would happen, hoped maybe it wouldn't but really knew it would.

So that's where we are. There are a ton of new quilt pages and more to come. I just finished my Grandpa Scofield's and it will be posted soon. Anxious to start the quilt and feel like we are making some sort of progress in one way or another.

If you're reading our blog, please leave comments or just a hey! It helps more than you think,

Love to all~
Alli & Gary

Thank you Noah!!

A big thank you to Noah for my birthday presents. They were 4 plaques that have chinese characters on them. The characters are...Happiness, Love, Harmony and Peace. I also loved the card and Owen's picture!!

I love them and can't wait to put them up.

Thank you Noah, Avery definitely has a special cousin to meet!!!

Love ya,
Aunt Alli

New quilt squares on Avery's Quilt link...

Click on the other link for Avery's quilt. We have finally updated and put up the new quilt pages. I did scrapbooking half a day Friday and pretty much all day Saturday and got everything up to date-FINALLY!!!

Enjoy!!
Love to all,
~Alli

A poem for waiting families...

I found this poem today as I was looking for things to put on scrapbook pages and in Avery's life book. I found it very moving. It is by a woman named Myla Stauber. She is a woman who was waiting for her child from Vietnam. It is about friends and family who help you, people who encourage and say what you need when you need it. I hope you enjoy it.


Even though I was afraid
you laid a hand on mine and said "it's ok, don't cry Myla, ...your baby is out there
and she's waiting patiently for you."

Even though I didn't believe somedays,
you believed for me
when I couldn't muster it, you called,
you wrote, you came around anyway.

When I couldn't stand any more questions or talk
you said you were thinking of me and that meant so much
even if I couldn't express it

I was angry and hurting,
so much grief, pain, and loss-
when I could not see beyond it you said "love, Myla"

When I was too close to the situation and my vision clouded,
bogged down in logistics
you reminded me of the reason,
love
of the direction,
faith
of the necessity,
trust
of the power inherent in us all to rise above.

My tears are grateful ones now, friend, believe it.
I take you with me when I go.

Love to all and a prayer out to our Avery...where she is or isn't yet.
~Alli

Can you say the first of 2010...

Another update from the adoption agency today. It looks as if we're looking at the beginning of 2010, until we get Avery. That's it!! I feel as if I've been trying to tell myself that it will speed up and China will get there act together...don't think so. I appreciate all the updates from the adoption agency, it's their job, I know. But, I tell ya, I think I liked living in my world of optimism, and denial. It's happier there.

Ever feel as if there was something you did in your life that is preventing you to get what you want. If only you could figure it out so that you could fix everything and it would all be how you want it. I believe in karma. But I also believe that I have been a teacher for a reason, that I have helped hundreds of kids over the past 17 years for a reason. That I became a dance teacher who cares about her students for a reason.

Just sometimes you gotta wonder...where's ours?

Me venting...what's new.

Totally frustrated more than ever,
~Alli