Being that we have Spring Break next week, and our first big show is the week after that, I will officially have 2 weeks away from the studio-YAY!!! The first week is vacation, and the second week is dress rehearsals and show, but still, it's 2 weeks out of the studio, and a little bit more stress free. We are hoping to get into Avery's room a little bit over vacation, it's vacation for me but not Gary, so, I'm hoping to get into her room and get something done. I have things to do for our show, but I am also going to do some things just for me over this break that have nothing to do with dance.
This was a hard week. I am so tired this week, and Gary says the same thing. I think the snow is the culprit, it just depressed everyone, and put people in a bad mood all around. But it's supposed to be nice the next few days. I hope so, need some warmer temperatures, and sunshine to help with the gloomy attitude.
We are staying home this year for Easter, we went to Indiana last year, so we don't go this year. My parents aren't going either it's just too short of a trip. We'll be at Ron & Judy's for Easter dinner then my parents later on in the day. Not really into the Easter buying this year, so we've cut way way way back on that this year...adoption to save and pay for.
I've been hearing about other people getting their referrals, they are people with LID's from March 2006, but it's still encouraging to know this really does happen eventually. The CCAA should be into April, but when I checked the other day they hadn't changed their status. I predict we won't get into the review room until the earliest-June. Then I also predict we won't travel until next Summer. I don't wanna get my hopes up any farther than that. When I think of another year of waiting, it makes me nuts. But in reality what's 12 months, we've already done 21. Everyone says, "It will be so worth the wait". We appreciate the support, but that comment, irks me to no end now. We know it will be worth the wait, that's why we decided to do it.
I think this feels like a prison sentence sometimes, a punishment for something we've done in a previous life. "Yes, you can have a daughter, but... you will have to wait this long, possibly longer, to make up for whatever you've done, you must appease the children Gods who are in charge of your parental fate". Okay...yes a bit over the top but really that's what it feels like. I know everything happens for a reason, but why the wait? I'm 35, Gary is 38, let's get on with it!! We always wanted children, but now that we're ready and normal ways never worked, we wait...and wait...and wait... and eternally wait.
Breathe...I just tell myself to breathe and look to the future. Sometimes I can't see it as clearly, but I know that someday it will be there.
That must be why I put the song, "Someday" in our show this year-probably. The wait always finds it's way into my work. We also have the song, "In my Arms" in the show this year. That song is also about a parent and their child. Our life spills into my work and choreography. We also have a song called, "Slow me Down", which is my life in a nutshell. The entire show is called "Dancing through Life", that just says it all doesn't it. If you get a chance come and see our show on April 24th, promises to be phenomenal! Well there's a plug for ya!!
Have a Happy Easter & Restful Spring Break if you can!!!
Think of us every 3rd of the month as we trek through this unfathomable wait. Leave a comment or just a hello is always appreciated!
Love to everyone!!!
~Alli
