21 months...

Okay so today is the 3rd again. We are at 21 months. Been having that heartache moment a little off and on this last month. Just really when I'm by myself, and not really thinking about anything, it just drops in for a little while, and then I'm off doing other things and it goes away again. I just want to get into the review room, get us there and then we will see the light at the end, a little brighter.

I'm so tired lately, trying to get the Companies at the studio ready for their show. Also, trying to plug through the Recital dances in all 29 classes, to get them far enough before April Break. Not sleeping well, again, up every morning between 2:30-4:00AM. Just restless lately I think, my head is too full of everything. Gary is feeling better he had a nasty cold last week, and is finally on the mend from that. I think I just need vacation...some days to do whatever, hopefully the weather will be nice and I can get some fresh air, and a fresh perspective.

Happy Easter to all, and Happy Spring!!

Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I have a feeling the next couple months will be tough on us. So leave as many comments as possible, we will need them.

Love to all,
~Alli

Almost 21 months & nice to have friends going through the same...

So, on Friday we will be 21 months. We are super busy right now and the months do seem to go by really quick, although NOT quick enough some days. But we just keep saying, "It will happen, it will happen". Thank you again to everyone who has been following along with us, and for your supportive comments, we truly appreciate them more than you know. It has been nice to hear from family members, and former students, and friends, and especially a friend right now that her family is adopting a little boy from Ethiopia.

It is nice to have someone that gets the way you feel most of the time, the frustrations, the heartache, and the waiting. I teach Christa's daughter Kara dance at my studio, and Kara is one of my assistants, I love Kara to death!!

We keep Christa and her family in our prayers daily. The little boy that is going to become a part of their family is one lucky little boy, they are such caring, and positive people. They already have a picture of the little boy, and should be going to get their son soon, we wish them speed and good thoughts. And I foresee a celebration with them soon!

We can't wait to meet Lucas!

Hope everyone is enjoying the warmer weather...I know we are!!

Think of us on Friday, we will be 21 months into our adoption, and waiting for our dossier to get into the review room still.

Love to all,
~Alli

Update...

The latest update from our adoption agency is, that they are through with March, and should be into April. The people that are just leaving to go get their children waited 35 months. That's about right. We are still hoping to get into the review room here shortly...longly... whatever you prefer. We're coming up on 21 months. By the time I'm done with all my shows it will be 2 years of waiting, with probably 10 months left after that.

Gonna have to find some more hobbies to keep me pre-occupied. On a positive note, Spring is finally here, and I've lost 21 pounds, and Gary has lost 27 pounds. You can see Gary's weight loss more than you can see mine. But I'm still plugging away at it. Hoping with some good weather, we can get outside for some walks, and bike riding...peace and quiet.

Keep us in your thoughts.

Love to all,
~Alli

Okay so bad bad day...

Had a rough day today that's where the blog down below came from. Had a friend (not family related) not really be a good friend, and ruined my whole day. Makes you examine things when people do that to you. So, I just wanted to say thank you for the comments, and encouragement, and the wishes. Had a nice talk to another great friend today, so that made my day better...thanks Sarah, love ya!!! It's always great to see you, and have our talks, it made my night!! Thanks for listening!

Love to everyone, keep leaving those comments, you keep our spirits up, and we need that more than you'll ever know.

Love to all!!!

Thanks to Heather also for always leaving comments, it makes my day when we get a comment from you, and also from Katie Katie, and Christa. Thanks to you all!!!

~Alli

Why do we care...

So, this is going to be my rant about the subject of caring. Caring for people, for students, for your loved ones, your family, and friends, your job, and anything else you seem to love in your life. I have always been the teacher who cares about her students...probably more than I should. My students confide in me, and yes, I do tell them the truth sometimes, even when the truth hurts. But, I was brought up to be that way. I think that sometimes the people we care about need to hear the truth. It stings, and it hurts but it is all for the good. I know a lot of people who speak their mind, and say what ever they want all the time. I used to think these people were rude, and totally people I never wanted to be around. But today I think I might become one of them.

I am so sick of people using me as someone to take their problems out on. Excuse me for caring too much, excuse me for having a job I love, excuse me for finding the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Excuse me for thinking it's a good idea to go to college for your profession, excuse me for wanting to bring the best out in my students, excuse me for demanding loyalty, excuse me for expecting people to be courteous, and kind. Excuse me for thinking everyone has a good heart...some just deeper than others, excuse me for not being able to have children of my own, excuse me that the adoption is taking longer than everyone else thought. Excuse me for not being able to go to baby showers...I always send good wishes and a fabulous gift though. Excuse me for being successful, excuse me for working hard, excuse me for being busy all the time, excuse me for actually lately taking time for myself, and Gary. Excuse me for not wanting to compete with others in my business, excuse me trying to raise above, excuse me for teaching 29 + classes per week. Excuse me for being who I am...I have never tried to be anyone but me.

Well...excuse me, I don't apologize for any of it!!!!!!! Why do we ever care what other people think of us...it's a waste of time and effort...I'm done. Maybe I'll be one of those teachers now who doesn't care about her students anymore, or what people think about what she says, throw all caution to the wind...we'll see.

Our life is hard, we are going through an adoption, an adoption that is going into it's 21st month. We have taken care of everyone else's children for 19+ years. I have been the shoulder to cry on for those past 19+ years, and so has Gary. I think it's time to be selfish, and do what is best for us.

There's my rant for the day...

~Alli