I feel like a Mom this week...

Tonight is the first night of our Spring dance show. The show is entitled "Rock Your Soul". The show if I do say so, and I never brag is the best show we've had!!! The music, the dances, the dancers, the feeling...is indescribable!!! I have 36 girls and 2 boys between my 3 companies and they are absolutely fabulous kids. They make me feel like their Mom and I get hugs out of the blue and are called their "second" Mom, and MamaBear, and with this weekend being Mother's Day that really hits home.

Being able to dance the song Swept Away for Avery at this show and incorporating the red thread with my senior company at the end of the piece really means a lot to me. I am such a proud "Mom" this week I can't wait to have this feeling all the time for my own child. Gary and I have such a connection with all of our kids, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Love to all & I hope you can make it to the show.

~Alli

PS~
The character in the upper left hand corner means dancing in chinese!!!

Thank you Heather & Don

A BIG thank you to Heather & Don!!!

They dropped off an outfit and a little lady bug wind up toy for Avery celebrating our "double digits"!!

Thank you and it means the world to us-love the raggedy ann outfit and little purse!!

Also, thank you to the Remington boys who put in a quilt square & wish-much appreciated!!

Thank you again!!
~Alli & Gary

Why we have named her...

I know that some people don't understand the process that we are going through. International adoptions are different in many ways than domestic adoptions. Especially right now, China adoptions. The wait is excruciatingly long and sometimes gets longer by the minute. We have had a lot of questions about the wait time and if we've heard anything. The answer is no, we are in a pile of dossiers in China and when they get to us they get to us. There is no updates until we get the referral. Our updates consist of being notified of other families at our adoption agency that have received their referrals, and of families that have gone and come back from China or are getting ready to go to China. But other than that there are no updates on our particular adoption case. It's a big waiting game. We do get the special needs list when one comes out of children that need parents and we always go through the list. We have had some people ask why we have already named her lately and they don't understand that because she is not even born yet.

Well, I will assimilate that to when you carry a baby in your tummy and you throw around names and eventually pick one. The baby is not born yet either, it's different because you can feel her/him move and you see the ultrasounds and etc. But some people have the name picked out before you actually give birth. My answer to everyone is... we are excited!!! Plain and simple, we don't get to feel her move in my tummy, or see the ultrasounds, or any of that. We have named her Avery Lin, a name we feel is perfect and we don't need to see her to make sure it will fit...our daughters name is Avery. We went through a lot of names and finally decided on this one. Lin in Chinese means "beautiful jade" I did my research of Chinese names and Lin seemed to go perfectly with Avery. People assume that when you are in adoption game it happens soon-NO!!!!! Each and every adoption is different we know we probably have at least another year to wait, and so sometime 6 months from now she might, probably be born. She will probably be 8-10 months old when we get her.

The process will probably be as follows:

We get the referral-We cry and weep-We accept-We have a travel meeting & meet the other parents we are going with-We shop-We get all of our stuff ready to go to China-We leave for China-We get there, jet lagged and tired- Avery could arrive to the hotel as soon as 30 minutes after we arrive at the hotel and then we are there for approximately 2 weeks finalizing all of her paperwork and doctor's appointments and getting to know our daughter just Gary & myself for 2 weeks in China with Avery Lin-HEAVEN!!!(hectic-but complete HEAVEN!!)

So we have named our little girl, it is all we have at this point, and we deserve to have something. The wait is so long, and agonizing on a good day. We wait and we call her room, Avery's room, and she is Avery to us. To us it doesn't matter that she is not born yet...she is with us in some way. I see and feel her in "signs" every day and no one can question that.

Love to all
~Alli

DOUBLE DIGITS!!!

I am so busy right now with all the show stuff that I am putting up about 3 blogs today about various things. We FINALLY hit our first goal for the adoption wait time-DOUBLE DIGITS!!!!

We were 10 months into our wait on Saturday May 3rd-YAY!!!!!!!!
We have been waiting for that for so long and we are here!!

Our next wait goal is 1 year-only 2 months away!!

On May 3rd, we were in rehearsals for 6 hours getting ready for the show-typical.

Now we can say we are waiting for the year mark-12 months!!! Not too far away!

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!!

Love to all~
~Alli & Gary

muqin jie kuai le...Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day in chinese is- muqin jie kuai le
To pronounce it goeslike this- Moo chin-gee-yeah-kwai luh
The chinese characters on here also say Happy Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is the one holiday each year for at least the past 4-5 years that I do not look forward to. It has nothing to do with my Mom, she is the greatest Mom ever and we get along great and always have and I wouldn't be the person I am today without her guidance or support-"Love ya Mom!!" It has nothing to do with Gary's Mom either whom of which I love too and she is always there to support me and listen also. It has to do with me and being a woman.

I am 34 and have no children...of my own. Now that's nobody's fault, I truly believe things happen for a reason and that Gary & I are on a path that we were destined to be on since we met. We are constantly helping kids at the studio through their lives, and constantly teaching kids and around them and we are called Mama & Papa Bear all the time. But as a woman and I've said this before I feel incompetent. And, on Mother's Day I feel especially incompetent. I dread this day every year and can't wait for it to be over. I am so lucky though to have a great Mom, and a great Mom in law, and great Grandmothers, and love to celebrate them on this day, but I would love to be Mom, and the waiting is hard, it's like it's right there but you can't get to it. Every time you reach for it, it moves away again. I am extremely emotional on Mother's Day, any little comment or the words, "Your day is coming..." does not help and sends me reeling. So, it's just me and my take on the day. I can't help it and it won't change until I can hold Avery in my arms on Mother's Day, and truly feel like a Mom.

I am the same with baby showers, I haven't been able to go to one of those in the last 5 years. Too many questions I have to answer and I just can't go to them either. It's my way of dealing...healthy or not, you feel the way you feel. And contrary to what people think you are happy for everyone, and wish everyone well but until you are put into this position you can't understand it and cannot judge it.

So, muqin jie kuai le to everyone!!!
Love to all~
Alli